Unlocking first impressions

Are we managing or keeping up appearances?

Hello and happy New Year,

The psychologically speaking podcast launches next Monday on January 15th and it feels a bit weird, I'm equal parts excited and apprehensive about putting my research out into the world in this way.

I'm going to drop in a quote from my friend (part of my cheerleading squad if you like) that was sent to me on Instagram last night when I mentioned how I was feeling.

She said 'You're one of the most positive and confident people I know.'

I probably am, but I'm also human! so today I'm sharing with you why I chose Imposter phenomenon as my research area and how imposter experiences have shaped and continue to shape the way I work.

Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

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Let's start by unravelling some of the psychological mechanisms at play in impression management and the opinions we form.

I want you to think about someone you're connected with online who you've not met in real life, next, I want you to ask a few quick questions. 

1. is that person introvert or extrovert?

2. Is that person optimistic or pessimistic?

3. is that person confident, or shy?

4. are they innovative?

5. do they have challenging views?

6. do they speak from the heart?

7. is that person like you?

8. What qualities do you admire in that person?

Did you had to think about these questions?, perhaps the either-or categories felt too prescriptive, but chances are you've already formed these perceptions based on earlier impressions. We form opinions about people all the time, it’s one of the ways in which we navigate our super social world. Psychology helps us understand how silent snap judgements quickly categorise and process new information in our heads.

If the person you are thinking about is a substack author you might have formed first impressions from earlier of pieces of writing, their linguistic style might be familiar to another author you like.

Perhaps you experience a warm glow for this person based on an endorsement by someone else you admire; this is a cognitive halo effect. These first impressions linger, and some like the halo effect are long lasting. Then there’s confirmation bias will keep us closely knit with people whose opinions strengthen our own beliefs or world views because we favour similarity and familiarity.

The ability to read emotions through others writing is one of the things I adore about substack because I spend a lot of time reading factual writing and scientific journals from academic authors, it is a pure delight when they also have a substack. None of us exist in a single platform bubble though, and the chances are you’ve heard the voice, or seen the body language of your favourite writers which is a whole other level of impression formation and contributes to the way we form online or parasocial relationships (find out more about parasocial phenomenon on my earlier post here).

Psychologically speaking these cognitive effects are known as heuristics and they do the heavy lifting in our brain, creating shortcuts for the thousands of decisions and opinions we form on any given day. Our heuristics can lead to biases, so they are a little problematic if we don't spend time thinking about our beliefs and where they've come from, or spending time with people who have alternative world views. Our first impressions are a fertile breeding ground for stereotypes.

There is someone in my social circle who often labels me as data driven and analytical, and I think this label gives them lots of comfort, as they announce their impression of me at regular points, it frustrated me, because I'm equally creative and interpretative, I love the qualitative element of research and the psychology of lived experiences.  I've come to realise that this is a combo of what they choose to see, and it’s a sticky impression I've made on them at some point.

The deeper psychological question is why their or anyone's impression counts, and I'll be answering that question with guest contributions through the podcast series.

Experiences like this make me take notice of labels, there's also the duality of different identities I hold around my study and work (that I've written about before), the fact that I'm bisexual and married to a bloke, and more recently the heart-breaking experience of parenting a child who must be labelled by a psychologist to get the support they need in the educational setting. I'm not a huge fan of labels because they push people into categories, and we are all more than that.

So, these personal experiences are a point of curiosity which drives my interest in Imposter, for me it’s not about finding a cure for the label of imposter syndrome, (there's more on why I dislike the label syndrome in Episode 1) but unravelling why the phenomenon happens in the first place.

The women I've coached and talked to as part of my research don't show up in the world as neat labels that say nervous, apprehensive, or fearful, they are getting ahead and getting things done despite experiencing imposter phenomenon. Everything I was reading in magazines about how to fix or cure imposter left me feeling like we'd made some first impressions and those impressions had stuck as outdated labels we could use to sell solutions.

It’s the worst type of stereotyping in my mind, so I set out to research the phenomenon with a group of women who worked across industries but were already successful. My nod towards a less label-like approach has been to explore the intersections, to explore where women feel well supported, where imposter experiences exist but do not stop success, and to learn from the women, not the label, on how we all can eliminate imposter experiences.

Imposter experiences shape the way all of us work and how I’m showing up here today, our online spaces especially provide us with a great deal of agency in how we present ourselves to the outside world and we are active creators and managers of the image that people see of us.

My research adds to the cyberpsychology literature that shows how we construct and curate our online presence, strategically choosing what to share and who with - something we call selective self-presentation. Our online impressions also feel stickier, because our digital footprints have a permanence and discoverability that is more accessible than traditional print ever was.

All this impression management sits side by side with comparison and envy, I'm dedicating a whole episode to this and the surprising ways in which comparison is being used for positive gain in online spaces. Meanwhile, our thoughts about disinhibition and anonymity are changing in the cyberpsychology space, especially in the way we think of a 'sense of virtual community’, and this is in line with the way that our use of community spaces has evolved from anonymous chatrooms to intimate spaces (like the subscriber only chats on substack) that encourage richer disclosure from individuals.

The dynamically changing nature of online spaces has a profound effect on the way we trust, and to some extent how vulnerable we allow ourselves to be with our audiences. Perhaps you can relate, it's natural to hold back negative thoughts to preserve a good impression, but we’re also conditioned to hold back the good stuff too! 

I've obviously created a positive and confident image for my friend, but yesterday I was honest in a private chat and admitted that I was worried about my child, my work, my PhD and launching a Podcast and it felt like 'a lot' to be worrying about. Which of course it is.

In short, people like me who might be the most positive and confident people you know, experience imposter feelings too, and it's not for lack of confidence a great deal is around image and impression management and the characteristics of the spaces we are social in that shape our intentions and parasocial relationships.

I am excited to share the podcast with you, I’m pushing the apprehension out of the door because I haven't got time for it. A good chat solves a lot of problems, doesn’t it?

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You can listen to the podcast trailer on all the usual podcast platforms, and if you download the episode and set notifications the next episode will be waiting for you on January 15th.