If only you could back-date gratitude to reverse the effects of ageing. Interesting to hear about the research on ageing and stress. It all makes sense of course. I am not into making gratitude lists, but talking about gratitude is right up my street.
I wonder if there is a best before date on gratitude expression? I'm sure there was a little study somewhere on the effect of 'timehop' photos on life satisfaction, the idea that being prompted to remember still produced a warm afterglow - years after the event. Hmm. you;ve got me thinking about nostalgic effects /vs gratitude. Interesting to think about the choices we make around gratituder too, how do we decided which acts/experiences to express gratitude for, and how are we biased?
There can't be a best-before date, surely. An old friend of mine recently expressed gratitude to me for something that I did for her 20 years ago, and told me how it had made a huge difference to her. Made me feel good, even though I don't remember it!
This is fascinating research, Leila! I really enjoy the way you put it all together and make it meaningful in a different way. You connect some dots or at least help us consider the implications.
It's strange how caregiving can be both so rewarding and exhausting/depleting. I guess some of it is circumstance and some is attitude (gratitude). Of course, some people have very difficult caregiving situations.
This has also helped me think about both my role as a mom and how I caregive when I go to stay with my parents in a rather complex situation. At home, although I get tired, I feel a lot of that gratitude and so it is also enriching and uplifting. This writer/psychologist Anna Mathur helped me to switch that mindset when my son was a baby. She's got a great IG especially for new moms. As much as I love all the people back in the US whom I care for, there are reasons I feel frustrated about the situation and so I think it truly exhausts me (ages me?). I was there for 3 weeks over Christmas and am still recovering.
Thank you Kate, I'm re-reading some of the research transcripts as I'm preparing a conference submission and I feel like I will always be drawing from the narratives of the women who took part. Caregiving is extraordinarly complex isn't it? many competing societal ideas around what mothering looks like, and then just as we are getting into our stride, we care upwards. I was intrugued by your final comment around exhaustion, I'm thinking about the way in which cognitive dissonance can make us feel that way, especially as we move between world views/values from our own lives and lives of our close relatives. You might find some answers or inspriation in one of the papers Elissa Epel and her colleagues (Mason et al 2019) wrote about caregiving, they center the paper around narrative identity, as an author I think you'll really grasp the idea of the psychological reconstructed past, percieved present and the imagined future as a psychological basis of how we process stress/challenges. They found that caregivers who were able to integrate their narrative identity and make sense of their experiences through a coherent story were more resilient to stressors. There's something in that study that makes me think about how we bring different parts of our identity together for reconciliation after a biographical disruption? and also, to speak to your comment about frustration, how we cope with incongruence.
If only you could back-date gratitude to reverse the effects of ageing. Interesting to hear about the research on ageing and stress. It all makes sense of course. I am not into making gratitude lists, but talking about gratitude is right up my street.
I wonder if there is a best before date on gratitude expression? I'm sure there was a little study somewhere on the effect of 'timehop' photos on life satisfaction, the idea that being prompted to remember still produced a warm afterglow - years after the event. Hmm. you;ve got me thinking about nostalgic effects /vs gratitude. Interesting to think about the choices we make around gratituder too, how do we decided which acts/experiences to express gratitude for, and how are we biased?
There can't be a best-before date, surely. An old friend of mine recently expressed gratitude to me for something that I did for her 20 years ago, and told me how it had made a huge difference to her. Made me feel good, even though I don't remember it!
perhaps this is the answer, keep dining out on past gratitude for as long as you can, apply as liberally as an anti-ageing cream!
Ha! yes
This is fascinating research, Leila! I really enjoy the way you put it all together and make it meaningful in a different way. You connect some dots or at least help us consider the implications.
It's strange how caregiving can be both so rewarding and exhausting/depleting. I guess some of it is circumstance and some is attitude (gratitude). Of course, some people have very difficult caregiving situations.
This has also helped me think about both my role as a mom and how I caregive when I go to stay with my parents in a rather complex situation. At home, although I get tired, I feel a lot of that gratitude and so it is also enriching and uplifting. This writer/psychologist Anna Mathur helped me to switch that mindset when my son was a baby. She's got a great IG especially for new moms. As much as I love all the people back in the US whom I care for, there are reasons I feel frustrated about the situation and so I think it truly exhausts me (ages me?). I was there for 3 weeks over Christmas and am still recovering.
p.s off to follow Anna Mathur!
Thank you Kate, I'm re-reading some of the research transcripts as I'm preparing a conference submission and I feel like I will always be drawing from the narratives of the women who took part. Caregiving is extraordinarly complex isn't it? many competing societal ideas around what mothering looks like, and then just as we are getting into our stride, we care upwards. I was intrugued by your final comment around exhaustion, I'm thinking about the way in which cognitive dissonance can make us feel that way, especially as we move between world views/values from our own lives and lives of our close relatives. You might find some answers or inspriation in one of the papers Elissa Epel and her colleagues (Mason et al 2019) wrote about caregiving, they center the paper around narrative identity, as an author I think you'll really grasp the idea of the psychological reconstructed past, percieved present and the imagined future as a psychological basis of how we process stress/challenges. They found that caregivers who were able to integrate their narrative identity and make sense of their experiences through a coherent story were more resilient to stressors. There's something in that study that makes me think about how we bring different parts of our identity together for reconciliation after a biographical disruption? and also, to speak to your comment about frustration, how we cope with incongruence.
PS good luck with the submission!
Thanks so much. I shall read it!